Archive for September, 2008

Nice.

I delivered a sassy zinger to my mom the other day—so sassy that she had no snappy comeback for it. She thought it was hilarious. She also seemed to be strangely delighted a couple of weeks ago when I called her all wrapped around the axle about something. A couple of days later my mom confessed that she was a little worried I was becoming “nice.” Nice was not meant as a compliment in this context. I think what she meant was that she was worried that by doing my own work and not letting stuff bug me so much that I might lose my edge—my sass. That I might become this super mellow and really boring “nice” person.

Not a f*#&ing chance.

Doing my own work allows me to unapologetically be who I am. And because I am being authentically me and not pleasing others, sometimes that means not being “nice.” It might mean telling someone no when they really would like to hear yes, backing out of a commitment because it’s not right for me, or gasp! not buying someone’s “poor me” story. It also means laughing a ton, respecting myself and taking my sass to a whole new level.

So don’t worry mom—all is well.

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September 26, 2008 at 9:44 am Leave a comment

What it’s all about

Photo courtesy of Joya Iverson

Photo courtesy of Joya Iverson

Some little moments inspired me to write this post.

The moment this weekend when I looked at my partner as we were bumping along in the golf cart during our second 18 holes of the day. Just her and me, sun, green, trees, grass… and realized in that moment how much I adore her.

The moment this morning when a warm and wiggly little dog kissed my face and snuggled her way into bed to snooze with me.

The moment today reading a blog post from my friend Joya who just fled her toxic cube job and gave me chills writing about her arrival into her new world—literally and figuratively.

The moment when I realized that when I love myself uncondionally, my body will reflect that love.

This moment when I remember what it’s all about—this collection of moments.

Are you noticing your moments? They’re happening all around you.

September 15, 2008 at 11:32 am Leave a comment

Information Diet

I have decided to go on an information diet, perhaps “cleanse” is a better word. I don’t believe in diets for weight loss, but this slightly modified definition fits in this case: “Such a selection or a limitation on the amount of information consumed for reducing distraction.”

I don’t plan to give up social networking, but I’ve been overly indulgent lately so I’m taking a weeklong break. I found myself surfing the networks as a way to distract myself both from work and my own personal Work. It was the equivalent of mindlessly watching TV, only I told myself I was still “working.” Why am I putting in face time at my computer? Old bad habits—this was exactly what I used to do in my corporate jobs when I felt stressed, overwhelmed or just bored (sorry former bosses!). If I were my boss, I would’ve called me into my office to talk about my lack of focus—oh yeah, I am and I did.

Day 1 (yesterday) went well. I was clear, focused and got a ton done. Everything from remembering to take the garbage out, to writing class outlines, prepping for a radio show this weekend (for more on that, see the end of this post), coaching clients, sending clients notes and playing a little golf in the evening.

Are you overindulging in information? Too much blackberrying, emailing, web surfing, tv-ing, newspapering, cnn-ing? If so, I invite you to join me in your own weeklong Information Diet. Comment and share your experience, I’ll keep you updated on mine.

9/18 UPDATE: My Info Diet is over, I made it a whole week without being on Twitter, Facebook, Netvibes (my blog reader) or other forums I belong to. I found myself wanting to pop over to these sites many times during the week, whenever there was a little lull in activity. I think I was marginally more productive, but what mainly happened is that I (cue the cop voice) stepped a-way from the computer when I needed a break or was done working. What fell away during the diet was the feeling that I needed to spend “face time” at my computer. I think I’ll hang onto that feeling. Oh, I also realized I didn’t miss much. 😉

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Speaking of the Internet, I’ll be appearing on Annette Pederson’s radio show, “Your Intentional Life,” this Saturday, September 13 at 2 Pacific. I’ll be talking all about MONEY–how to improve your relationship and attract more of it. I’d love it if you called in with your questions.
More info and tune in here.

September 12, 2008 at 10:02 am Leave a comment

Breaking the Rules

I have always been a rule follower—ok, that’s a lie. It’s more accurate to say I’ve always tried really hard to follow the rules until I get so uncomfortable that I have to break them. I tried to be my conception of a good girl, tried to be straight, tried climbing the corporate ladder, tried to not drink too much caffeine, tried to be the best so people would approve of me. Those were just some of the rules I made for myself that didn’t end up working for me.

Here are some other common “rules” that are worth questioning:
I have to work hard to earn lots of money.
I can’t eat after 9 p.m.
I can’t speak up at work because I’m afraid I’ll get fired.
I can’t be an expert because there are other people who know more than me.
It’s not exercise if I don’t feel the burn.

I bring this topic up firstly because I think it’s worth uncovering and questioning your own rules—are your rules serving you or causing you stress? Secondly because I wanted to tell you about another “rule” I’m breaking. My sage marketing advisors recommended I develop one finely targeted niche for my coaching practice. So that’s what I did. This makes a ton of sense to me as a marketer and is great business advice for any entrepreneur. Except it doesn’t work for me. Here’s the deal; I love helping people get their careers back on track and chart the course to their North Star, and I also love helping people lose weight and free themselves from the food obsession. So I now fly in the face of the “rules” and add the slash to my title: career/weight loss coach. How do I know this is the right move? I’m so fired up I can barely stop talking about my two passions and creating programs and classes for you to participate in. (Broke the rules by ending with a preposition—yeah!)

What are the rules you’re following? Which ones could you break? Should you break? By all means, break them.

September 2, 2008 at 7:45 pm Leave a comment


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